Your driving instructor may teach you a lot of useful skills, but there’s just some things which you won’t learn in your driving lessons. Whether it’s the best way to style out a poor parking attempt or how to handle the mcdonalds drive-thru, we’re here to answer all of the questions your driving instructor won’t have.
#1.The unwritten parking rule
You’re in a car par, and there’s two cars and one space. If you’re good at maths you can see the dilemma here. There’s potential for this to end up in an angry exchange, but look, you’ve got your indicator on. Problem solved – the space is righteously yours! If you’ve both got your indicators on, I’m sorry but we can’t help you.
#2. Your car is a great hiding place
We’re not suggesting an impromptu game of hide and seek on your driveway, but if you’ve got a particularly bad shoe buying habit or a surprise party to hide, there’s never been a better place than your car boot.
#3. And it makes you a better singer
Well, in the same way that the shower does, but that’s besides the point. If you fancy belting out your favourite Whitney tune (yeah we know it’s not the 80s), your car is the place to do it. The rules change slightly when you’re carrying passengers, so be careful not to make all your friends hate you.
#4. You should never linger in the drive-thru
There’s nothing worse than someone who takes ages to fiddle about with their McChicken sandwich whilst still at the window. Learn the drive-thru etiquette quickly or expect to be told to GET OUT OF THE WAY. No one stands between us and a deli of the day.
#5. Not every beep is equal
You will, at some point in your driving life, probably be beeped at. It’s not a nice feeling, but you’ve just got to deal with it and move on. There are, however, different kinds of beeps. There’s the short beep beep double, which means someone’s spotted their mate walking down the road (no beef here), then there’s the slightly-too-long aggressive beep which means you’ve probably pissed someone off. Then there’s the people who use their horns the right way – the ones who are like ‘dude, please don’t pull out in front of me’. Learn your beeps.
#6. You should never park near the trolley park
People are menaces when it comes to supermarket car parks. If at all possible, avoid parking next to the trolley park at all costs. Sadly pushing a trolley doesn’t require a licence.
#7. There’s an age limit on car modifications
Fair enough, you’re 17 and you want a big exhaust. We’ll let you get it out of your system, but remember there’s a time and a place for boy racers, and over 30 years old just isn’t it.
#8. Stay fresh
If you think your driving licence is going to make you an instant hit with the ladies, you need to remember a few things. 1) No one likes a car full of old food wrappers and 2) no one will go out with you if your car smells of old food wrappers. Car air fresheners will be your best friend.
#9. Calling shotgun is a real thing
And you will have to choose a hierarchy amongst your friends. A rotation-based system might be the best way to keep everyone happy. You might also have to keep music fiddlers in the back seat because no one liked those people.
#10. Your mum will never trust you
You could be the best driver in the world, but your mum will still twitch every time you get in the driving seat. Even a trip to Dunelm Mill will leave her feeling stressed and in need of a sit down. Perhaps you could compromise with some Radio 2 to make her feel more comfortable. After all, who doesn’t love Tony Blackburn?
Last modified: 1st March 2017